Frak My Life

Drank a ton of ambrosia and hooked up with Hot Dog.  The next day we woke up naked and surrounded by people.  We had done it in the memorial hallway.  Frak my life.

As Secretary of Transportation, I was 44th in line to be President of the Colonies.  Frak My Life.

Ugh, my mom is making me join the New Caprica Police.  She says it’ll teach me ‘responsibility.’  Frak my life.

I have kind of a crush on Leoben.  I’m drugged and taken to a cell home to await my guard husband.  I’m excited, but then John shows up and pulls out his dentures.  Frak my life.

I was next on the production line when they decided they had made enough models.  That’s why they call me Lucky Number Fourteen.  Frak my life.

After years of hard work, today is my first day on the Quorum and I am SO excited.  Wait, why is Zarek leaving?  Are these marines going to run the rest of the meeting?  Oh.  I see.  Frak my life.

I beat my friend Paul with prince high red over three up in a game of Triad.  He told me he’d get me the money today.  He just blew himself up in a resistance suicide mission.  Frak my life.

My boyfriend and I are both Cylons, and we’ve been having some problems.  Last night while he was passed out drunk, I joined his Projection.  He was living with another woman on Gemenon.  Frak my life.

I’m dating a Sharon.  She said she had been feeling distant from me lately and I said I would do anything to make it right.  So she plugged herself into my computer and forbade it from accessing porn sites.  Frak my life.

I sold antibiotics on the black market on Prometheus.  When Apollo killed Phelon, I got scared and stopped.  Now I have an STD from a 13-year-old prostitute and don’t have any antibiotics to heal me.  Frak my life.